yeah - i'm blogging

ahh.. ok. hum. what should i say? anything!! i can say whatever i want and my job is to still love myself & to challenge you to love me too as i love you. say it fast 3 times. hee!

mainly i'm tired today - since yesterday - due to the ole' thyroid issue. yep. i tried to self medicate because it seemed Oprah said something about getting her thyroid figured out. i mean i'm eating right & i exercise occasionally & i lost 5 lbs. time to come off the meds - right? no. i am back to before and not wanting to get up out of bed though i head to bed at 9p. maintaining weight, when i should be losing - i'm following the 'points.' so, a little snippy, and i just can't handle my chaotic job anymore. other than that i'm fine.

right? isn't that what we say? hey -

i look forward to being better.

mommy, what does awesome mean?

Monday, September 17, 2007

mommy, what does awesome mean? "mommy, am I doing good?" "yes sweetie, you are doing awesome!" "mommy, what is awesome?" "super great, wonderful" ______________ "mommy, can i come in here & get dressed" "sure, i don't mind" "what does i don't mind mean?" "no problem, i think you coming in is fine" _______________ how patient we must be with our little children. she is a month & half shy of five & how many times have i told her she was awesome? that she didn't know what awesome was is a little striking, how then did she know how great i thought she was doing. goes to show me how i need to make sure when i compliment her, encourage her - that i ask & make sure she is understanding my words. she has gotten on this kick of thinking she is a "cry baby," where it comes from i'm not sure. its odd though when it comes out, like she will sit with this self'defeating look on her face & she calls this name out to herself. i work to figure out who has said it, i work to remove it - labels! my top focus as her mother is for her to see herself as a wondrous creation, and seeing others in that way too. how careful we must be with our words, that this name she has clung too might affect later processings about herself. i say sweetie - you are so sensitive & beautiful, crying helps all the sad feelings come out. i'm glad you are so good at letting those feeling go. if we don't get rid of the sad ones, we won't have room for the happy ones. raising self confident kids in this world is a total commitment job ~ be mindful & smile huge at the kids you come into contact with today & tomorrow, they need it!

walking still..

Thursday, August 16, 2007

walking still.. Category: Blogging the coolest little thing, or should i say things. i wrote that blog after returning from ky school & that day i ran into multiple affirmations - saying - keep going. i go to work & Roni tells me she wasn't sure in september when she started her RCIA (is that right - what does that mean? i'm not sure, but i'm sure at some point i will figure it out), that it wasn't until december she really felt good, that things seemed to open up. then i go to $1 Baskin Robin Scoop that Tuesday night & Sarah is there with her family.. this is the same sarah (who isn't on myspace yet) that i called a couple of months ago on this catholic topic - we were pretty close in our tweens, but closer in our late teens, early twenties & still manage to run into each other. she works at UofL with their Catholic Student Ministries. i tell her my angst & again, she was like - no, that shouldn't happen. lots of families are split & kids can't make it every sunday & that's ok. that it shouldn't effect anything. we then talked about some fundamental type stuff, and i could relate - because fundamental protestant type stuff isn't something i get with either. then - Sarah {lots o' Sara(h)'s & alli(can)(son)'s in my life}- my colorado friend - reply's with another affirmation.. then! this past monday i walk into Inquiry, wanted to tell them why i didn't come, but decided not too & who slips in, but Margaret. Margaret? yeah - the lady who leads children ministries at st james & i got to share with her & she set me strait, that they are not ritualistic - my daughter won't be behind, that have her come when she can come. it was the neatest thing. plus! the priest from St. John has come to St. James Parish to retire & he is wanting to devote his time to our RCIA classes. how blessed. i felt tears swell in my eyes. maybe that's weird, but i could just feel God loving me all over. so.. that is that. i am continuing in my journey. interesting stuff, that God would be moving me to Catholic Practice. why when i've been so happy at my community church? only God knows & i can be still with that~ i ended up dropping out of Catholic classes.  the sponsor situation got a little sketchy & it just seemed to be the right choice.  i feel so blessed today - however - that i had the experience.  i have great respect for the Catholic community .. not a minute do a regret in its study. jp-m 5.10.10