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Monday, November 29, 2010

free to be me

 ~ swept by the wind ~
~ where it blew there i went ~
~ over and over i tumbled and twirled ~   

i have a lot of compassion for times when we struggle with our boundaries.  when we know there is a line to be drawn but we aren't sure how to do it.  making the decision of when to speak and when to be silent is difficult and tedious.  so much that frustrations can flair and feelings can be hurt.

people in the position of authority not being comfortable with authority is a mishap ready to happen.  how many times have we witnessed or heard of a boss spiking their voice or slamming their files?  those floating through may wonder - was it really that big of a deal?  people on the receiving end are likely so caught off guard they haven't stopped to wonder, but instead are reacting.  whether we wear our emotions on the inside or outside, withstanding a side-swipe blow requires a moment to regroup.    

all the wonderful ways we can say perhaps.  possibly.  as it may be.  as the case may be.  conceivably.  feasibly.  for all one knows.  imaginably.  it may be.  maybe.  perchance.  reasonably.. 

i'd like to suggest that like me & you, others are likely doing their best.  i can say - for a long time i was not comfortable being the authority of me.  that when i wanted to say no I'd say maybe.  when i meant probably i'd say yes.  i got myself into all kinds of trouble simply not speaking my mind.  unfortunately, the problem with speaking our minds is.. not knowing what our minds are all about.

i am going to make mistakes, i am going to hurt feelings.  discovering my mind will take time, but eventually i'll not be so with the wind.  i will.  in fact.   be safe and complete.  a most wonderful and curious design.  Shalom


jules said...

I like that life & development is a journey rather than a destination :)

Jackie said...

I felt as though you were speaking to my spirit in this one. While I have fairly strong boundaries and have had most of my life, I tend to react as you mention without thinking first. I have taken painstaking steps to try and side step this personality trait and it rears its ugly head anyway...and then there are those times during a bad situation that I will surprise myself by saying exactly the right thing. Today I had one of those experiences and I believe that when I was speaking out of love (and here I mean love for human beings in general) my mouth followed.

You once again have gotten my brain cells to scatter and begin thinking...sometimes not a good thing. I will be thinking on this blog for quite some time....I am a work in progress...

jenni said...

me too Jackie ~ me too :)

Wayne said...

"unfortunately, the problem with speaking our minds is.. not knowing what our minds are all about."

Ummm, yeah - pretty profound!!

Glad to find your blog, Jenni - look forward to checking in often!