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Sunday, August 3, 2008

dripped with sweet butter

so. i've decided to rekindle the art of baking in my life. i'm starting (have been starting) with the basic loaves. i tried a french bread twice, the second time it resembled the consistency of a bagel.

good enough & i decided to try on

first i have looked over a couple of bread books this past week - one i got from my brother, his fundamentals of baking from cooking school & one from an antique store. it was kind of a peddler's market of dillies you might see having odd grouping of old items.. matured items i should say :)

anyway. i just pulled out my last batch of Breadsticks!! look at me - i did bread kind No. 2 ~ !~

so i was reading over these two books, trying to find a good -simple- yeast bread. i found myself committed to letting my bread rise til it doubled & not that time passed a certain mark. (did i mention my first bread turned out like an albino stone?)(that is actually a direct quote, i just won't claim who said it - not i) (fate would have it that: i kept it for a couple of days - then my daughter and i launched it off the deck for the birds !!)

i arranged my time so that i could be completely available to the proofing process. today - i am reading thru the ingredient list, measuring my "add-in's" - reading the next line & it states I am going to let the dough rest. rest, mold, rest - bake. i was ready & expecting a double punch - something tricky - something time consuming. i decided to be relieved & it turned out to be consuming anyway because i measured, cut, rolled, twisted, proofed, egg washed, cheesed & buttered. i dripped from my stainless steel spoon sweet unsalted butter. baked & got an digital read of its doneness - (i am a nerd, people have their garage tools - i have my kitchen tools!)

this just goes to show - read all the directions before beginning a bread - sometimes they come up and *!surprise!* hee! no since wasting good flour.

anyway. they turned out pretty good, so.. i might move to something different next. i think i am going to suffer a sponge. a sponge made from fermenting potatoes.


actually that sounds kind of gross ~ but we will see!!

love and grace -


Saturday, March 15, 2008

time is passing..

the days, can you believe the days and how they pass.

no wonder we don't as a society take time to restore. one needs preparation to restore and where is the time for preparation. and what the heck are we preparing for? right?

hum.. great question. i love these blogging things ~ especially knowing that i am basically talking to myself because i don't think .. even if i stuck my finding compassion and the word blog i would come up on the search engine results. ha! i just said search engine.

well. i think i am after something. that's clear - right? i am after the preparation for restoration. if i can manage a mini plan for myself - activate myself, then maybe i can offer others a ride ~

i purchased The Woman's Retreat Book, by Jennifer Louden. it looks like what i am looking for to continue past where i have started. i like that she is giving in her introduction. that she has offered a reference to develop, help the bigger picture grow in each of her reader's minds. that she gives permission to change, add, combine is great! good woman Jennifer!!


i suppose that is it. in the event anyone is reading ~ i'd like to purpose the challenge -what is your out of the gate, from the hip, responses to the word.. self

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

rossana miliani .. missing

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

i really don’t know what to say ~ other than.. its one of those unthinkable moments when you are trying to locate someone using the web, thinking how cool it would be to come across this person again & results come up..

i wasn’t even thinking when i clicked the link i would see her face.

she was my first year roommate at campbellsville.

i am in disbelief

Friday, February 22, 2008

church, a unit of love


where do you go to church?


.. me and a friend laughed one night about naming a bible study group church. and how frustrating that might be because every church has its name or location.

what if we just sort of met over God and became more about promoting love than promoting ourselves?

i don't have an answer for 'church plants' ~ i wish i could help their sustainability, but i'm not sure how to be authentic while fishing.. a fishermen of men.

i wonder the meaning of this in original context?

Friday, February 8, 2008

Friday, February 08, 2008

i'm not sure if i can be any more profound; however, i am a little surprised how life is turning out.

i have said this ~ but certainly, Scott has added a reflection that helps me to know myself & see myself better.

i think i sat in this crying mess trying to believe God, that He had been present thru it all, all. every word, every mistake, every heart break ~ words don't honor the insatiable darkness that has eaten away at my worth for longer than i can remember. it is this season that i am starting to "lighten up." to really see what is good about me & not what has always been a bigger mistake.

our personal meditation is so ~ all over everything we do. if God is the the past, present and future... then in this moment as i experience grace and love ~ have i & will i always be in the middle of acceptance.

accepting self ~ channeling our best forward is really amazing. it makes the day an opportunity to be worth something to someone, if not myself.

so i encourage each of you who drop by and read this little blog ~ be kind to yourself today, accept yourself today ~ walk yourself beyond old hurtful thoughts to finding compassion in yourself & others.

be Blessed in Love & Grace ~


Thursday, February 7, 2008

hey. it is almost my birthday!!

hey. it is almost my birthday!! 
i don't think i have a profound thing to say other than i am excited to be shaking hands in "3's" instead of "2's" and looking like Nixon.

Does that make sense?

Sunday, January 6, 2008

Managing My Angel

i thought i might show a pic that de'pic'ted how i feel some of the time... its the trying to raise an upright young lady growing to a woman of integrity pic (hee!)

i know i look a little nuts, but i feel a little nuts sometimes. partly the reason i calmly tell my daughter (dtr) to.. "step away, mommy needs some quiet time or she is going to blow." it's important to be honest how one is feeling after dropping a 'peanut butter smeared piece of bread' on my pants 5 minutes before walking out the door, on a monday (of course).

i remember back in the day, asking an acquaintance how she was doing with her new baby (when i had a new baby) & she always said, "great." i remember thinking, "really, cause i am exhausted and don't venture outside much because i don't know what i am doing~"
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Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Oh my gosh, I'm not messy?

i am clutter, or at least i've been clutter, mostly a mess - mostly. this is a mostly unless it is the sometimes i go to organize and everything is beautiful.

i was watching an Discovery Home show called Neat & it was the "Messy Maria" episode. You, Maria are my inspiration to love myself. turns out she was a visual learner. anything out of sight was out of mind, and so she had to keep most of her stuff out for fear she would run out and buy more.

i actually have started some of the things the host did for Maria & surprisingly it was working, but i didn't know why. like my scrap stuff ~ its all in see thru boxes & my pantry is all open (really they are big plastic shelving like the ones one might put in the garage). my plate & glass cubbies are always open, could this be why - because it makes me feel better to see what i have..

very interesting. why i have started a million journals, because once thier put away - they feel far away and i must have something new or near, blank ~ it can be old, hand me down spiral bound notebooks - just blank, plenty of wide open space.

nuts! i'm feeling a little flighty right now, like i've been offered a big something about myself tonight.

thanks time ~ that you cuddle me in your minutes!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

First Day of the New Year

ok. so i made a commitment to get started. here i am - available - what's next? i don't know.

sounds like a brilliant leader, huh? no. not really. i just had my eyes and heart really opened last Good Friday & everything began to take on different shades.

never really considered the question, 'are you saved' as being an "in or out" sort of thing. that by asking i was doing more harm than good.

that's it. so i've been festering this last almost year now, getting more and more wiggly in my seat, skipping church - taking Catholic classes, reading books.. and now - since i've decided to take the semester off from school, i have this bubbling, boiling up and over - screaming sort of feeling inside. i know nothing else but to seek God... who else is big enough, who else will wipe the hair whispers from my wet eyelashes.

i could do a bio (biography) of lots of people in the bible, check my facts and figures, but instead i'm seeking wisdom. seems a little out of my grasp, but i'm after it anyway.