Wednesday, December 05, 2007
i feel like i haven't written a blog in a while, not sure if that is true, but surely it feels that way. i am presently completely playing with myspace & facebook. i like facebook. it seems a little bit more ~ less HTML ~ if that makes sense. probably not, especially for those who actually understand HTML, but maybe it is less glittery, but more gamey?
i am starting to feel a little boring. i want to raise my girl with some integrity, some goodness about her. some shelter from the harshness of everything. people seem so confused most of the time & even if we think we have it, let me say we don't.
just yesterday, i sat in awe ~ i'm listening to a woman i just recently ran 'back into' & she was just so angry and all over the place. jumping into this story of whoa & how she was ready to kick this other woman's ass. i must have zoned out because i just started thinking - how can i help here - anger kills us. if we have no other way to express how we are hurt than by saying we are going to attack another person, who are we? how basic, how primitive. how shall i know i have grown, but by my actions & my word.
i just feel this weight, like because i am after compassion & desire transparency even before a G audience ~ . ~ i fear myself boxed up and boring in this world. that my daughter's eyes will turn from mine and seek out other stimulus. i, like any guardian, have this battle before us. if our sights are set, and we are trying to teach our children to be children, and not the broken adults they model after - we must surely examine ourselves and become who we desire our children to be.