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Wednesday, October 11, 2006

analog acoustic expression (aka verbal gesturing)

what? and if i were sitting in front of you – you would witness the beginnings of laughter.

and it seems a little off – the fact i would term myself a writer, or at least - i like to write – and choose to blog on this.

but then - there is choice. choice to be hidden, choice to be authentically real.

i am feeling this press to discern for myself – of course inviting you – can a foundation truly develop over cyber space? i sometimes have to catch myself and wonder - where are my boundaries – and do i have them in check?

people intentionally adjust their speech to express emotion, but analog acoustic expression is an unconscious phenomenon used to express more information than the words themselves contain

would i rather trust the "intentional" conscious projection of thought (the premeditated placement of words), or the "can't help but be real" giveaway that comes from watching a person speak?

i think this MySpace thing is an incredible way to network, catch-up, have some entertainment.. but lately – it seems important to pour into trusted sources – saving myself – giving myself to those who encourage – far from discourage my walk.

and so – laughter is good – but i read desperation in some of these blogs, bulletins, whatever is unique and being posted by a sister – a brother –

it is becoming loud – inescapably clear – the blessed nature of friendship. what it feels like to find an old friend, a friend we know, a friend we have sat and had heart to hearts with.. i know this friend by the conviction – the 'beyond a shadow of doubt' that comes from understanding a persons face when i've shared myself before – i don't have to know the content of her/his RE:, but i have to know my friend is interested in order to really grow - share - in cyber conversation. and NO! i can't relax without this affirmation - i've tried!

this is my honest heart null of apologies.

i can project words all day – but does a person know me from that – and when a person tells me, verbally expresses his interest in me – can i trust that. isn't it true that i have only shared what is conscious and obvious about me. has a person considered what about me is secret and never shared?

flip this.. and though you do not know me - i am the kindest heart - imagine the shadow that seeks to destroy your life to feed his own control issues.. if what i choose to hide can never hurt you - but it is still hidden - imagine those things that will take your innocence. guard your heart.

so – this is my charge sister – brother – do not awaken love before its time, no matter loves form – there are many. take note if your heart is seeking for a person, any person's next ABC. be intentional as the written, typed word becomes less and less satisfying – lead yourself into face to face friendship.

my love - jenni

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