Friday, November 10, 2006
 | i might say .. but i'm learning everyday
if you and i were both sitting .. somewhere around the fire.. moving as needed when the smoke found its way to our eyes (smile). i might want to answer your question this way::: short version: when i die - i am going to understand everything - not just my version. but.. a longer still version: you never know why things happen. (pause)( me smiling you smiling ) even if we stumple on the meaning of today.. we can never really understand the lineage created by tomorrow.. things like - death - abuse - neglect - mistake - suffering - isolation - paranoia not all goods are born of goods. not all bads beget bads.. or however you may want to say or mix these words up (smile) i think this is one of those moments when i fall back on my faith.. and i allow my wisdom to be driven by my understanding of the Truth & what i understand so far.. no matter the mudd in the water (double smile). i have been taught that faith is not just hoping in things unseen, but moving forward, backward & all about the road . towards . the unseen . would you agree that change can come from sadness and confusion? i have recovered from so much guilt by simply accepting the original chapter of my story.. the one that explains the 'how comes' so.. something criminal, something unfair, something unspeakable - it can be about 'what the heck happened here' & 'how does this affect me.' and it can be about something infinite.. something unseen... friend to friend: i would never know how to answer why God allowed something criminal to happen.. i'm sure the reasons outnumber me and you.. depending on the years.. the reason could effect hundreds.. thousands.. you never know.. more than the stars. when i am lost, hunting for truth. completely exhausted from the chase. i am sometimes.. God is so intimate .. i think because i self-isolate - His spirit will literally touch me, i feel pressure on me. i sometimes leave the room because i can barely stand.. when i have a question for God then i go to God.. but - i hear you - how does a person "go to God" - and now that i hear myself saying that.. that sounds a little like drive'thru.. sorry about that.. folklore would tell us .. Truth is found in quiet moments with His Word (the b.i.b.l.e), teachings (like the ones on tv - charles stanley - td jakes!!), friendships, and life events.. so.. i'd be super curious how God has spoken to you on a criminal issue.. and yes i mean you: i expect your comment on here. |
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